Awakening

I cannot even begin to express how grateful and happy I am to see and feel the arrival of springtime. Feeling something other than the bitter bite of arctic wind on my face, actually seeing my lawn after months of being buried under deep drifts of snow, no more walking through shoveled paths through knee- to waist-high piles of frozen precipitation or scraping frost off the inside of my car windows, "outside" being a place to escape to not from.

According to my friend Eric's research, we went for 107 days straight, from December 1 to March 17, with temperatures below 50F...and of those, 88 (nearly all consecutively) were below 40F. Definitely Nature's way of testing our endurance!

This past winter was a test of my patience, endurance and good humor. I have been noticing the changes in my own personality that I think are partially attributable to extended deprivation of sun and warmth. Other factors include, of course, the state of the economy and overall general stress...and I know I'm not alone in feeling the effects. I've been feeling unsettled, cranky, worried and frequently "blue."

Unfortunately, due to the nature of my employment, I get to bear the brunt of others' anger and frustrations on a daily basis. I've said it often of late, I have definitely noticed a marked increase in negative behaviors from the "public." More aggression, more anger...a certain "mean-ness" with little or no self-checking behavior. I think I can understand what "causes" people to vent like this...but although I'm often a scapegoat, at least it reminds me constantly to curb my own impulses to "take it out" on others. Unfortunately, I haven't always been successful.

But...Spring is here, I can feel it coming on...the air feels different, softer and warmer...the smells of softening earth and growing things and rain...the first bright-eyed robin was perched in the small tree in my front yard the other day and other birds nearby chirp happily. The flattened brown grass is greening and tiny shoots of my flower bulbs are poking through the dirt.

Then, this past Sunday, the first day of Spring, I saw this:

and it was time for new beginnings and casting off the numbness this past winter has inflicted. As for me, I feel as if something cold and hard inside me is loosening up and fading, an awakening. The Beatles wrote the song that now plays through my soul...

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter

Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

and I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

and I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

and I say it's all right

It's all right

Yeah, it's gonna be all right.